Across the Universe

Across the Universe - or, "Let's present the most stereotypical review of the 60's we can create!"

Across the Universe is the worst fucking movie I have ever seen. I am not kidding. I have seen Plan 9, Flash Gordon, etc, yet Across the Universe is the worst fucking movie I have ever seen. Living in an off-the-track college town, this film was finally brought to our shores this weekend and I, quite giddily, pursued taking part in a viewing on Friday night. However, after about 15 minutes of contrived plot lines and stereotypical characters, i couldn't handle it anymore and simply started heckling the movie from my seat. Granted, an immature approach, but I really stopped giving a shit about looking mature.

Don't worry folks, this movie contains it all! Hippies, Vietnam, the "Janis Joplin" character, a circus, and Bono - thats right, Bono. Fucking Bono! Once i heard Bono (playing their own adaption of Timothy Lear) started singing "I am the walrus" I pretty much lost all hope in this film achieving anything, and just sat back to watch the legacy of the Beatles crash and burn. By setting forth our main characters, Jude, the Liverpool welder, and Lucy, the suburban conservative, (don't worry, she is soon converted) the audience loses any interest in the survival of a couple whose entire relationship is built upon the fact that they are cute and have Beatles songs named after them.

For those who are not entirely caught up with the complete Beatles discography, the illiterate listener is kindly presented with a series of "hints" (I would call it bad acting) in which every song is foreshadowed exactly one minute and thirty seconds before it is sung. Throughout the film, the audience member is forced to oblige director Julie Taymor, as she slowly, painfully, "develops" these two character through the most stereotypical review of the 60's, fight against Vietnam, bring about a "revolution" and tie it all up in a kiss. Don't worry, they all live happily ever after.